Erection Pills

So, the commercial says that if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, you should call a doctor. What I was wondering is do these men call their peers at like 3hrs. 58min. just to brag? I don't know about you, but 10 minutes of woodness is too much if it's not being used. Really, what the hell do you do with a boner once everyone has had their fun? ugh, that sounds like hell.....especially if getting one is a problem to begin with. Oh well, hopefully they'll perfect it by the time Punko's poppin' the boner pills.........

Oh, little side note: I saw a feature that was about this study in which they found watermelon rinds to be as effective as Viagra and other wang-stiffening products.....so, there ya go.

Football Bye Week

Q: What does a guy do when his team is on the bye week?
A: The yard....for the last damn time until we don't make the play-offs.

HEY HIPPIE!

I can smell you. PLEASE take a shower. Yes, hippie, I'm talking to you. Peace, love and soap.

+Punko+

ATTN: CASHIERS

Seriously, use some common sense.(pun unintentional) Do you really think that when you hand me my change that it's a good idea to put the coins on top of the bills? So, there I am holding the shit I just bought from you trying like hell to put my change somewhere and you make me try to balance the fucking coins? What? Is that funny to you? You fucking know that shits just going to slide the fuck off! I'd expect that from a douche bag like me, but how many of me can there be? I know you're probably pissed off because you're a cashier, but stop pissing me off! Oh and by the way, just because you're too fucking stupid to get my joke, that doesn't give you a pass to roll your eyes. And I think your dog pissed on your shirt. It stinks.

ABC Threatens John McCain

President of ABC, Stephen McPherson contacted the John McCain camp early Tuesday morning to discuss his use of the moniker "Maverick". ABC holds that name close to their hearts after the long-running show bearing the name. Mr. McPherson told presidential candidate John McCain over the phone that if he uses that nickname again he's going to "send James Garner in to punch out 'his' throat". Mr. McCain explained that he didn't mean any harm and he was merely trying to tell the American people that he felt like an unbranded range animal. In particular, a motherless calf roaming the fields of life. McPherson realized that he could no longer continue the conversation and hung up the phone. Mr. McCain has axed for a restraining order against James Garner, but was denied on the grounds of it being "one of the stupidest things" the judge had ever heard.

'Cuz Officially Accepted As Valid Reason

You heard it right! 'Cuz is now officially a reason......for just about anything you don't want to talk about. Now when you get in that situation where you don't really know what to say, or you simply don't want to talk about it, you can just say 'cuz.

"They" have decided that 'cuz is A-OK. The they from "They Say" held a meeting Monday, October 20th, 2008 at an unknown place wearing nothing but Blu-Blockers and raincoats. The meeting lasted for nearly 3 minutes when suddenly one "they" got tired of making so many damned decisions for the whole world. Then he apparently threw a triple-shot mocha-chino across the room and screamed "'CUZ! THAT'S WHY!!! JUST FUCKING 'CUZ!" After several minutes of hysterical laughter from the remaining "they's", "they" decided that was enough of an explanation that was really ever needed. Reportedly, one of the older female "they's" peed herself a little during the gut-splitting laugh. "They" finished up the meeting and went out for a nice, relaxing tandem bike ride.

A few etiquette rules have been put in place in light of the newly accepted explanation. The next time you're given a "'cuz", you must accept the fact the person either doesn't know, or they don't want to talk about it and just fucking drop it. If you continue to ask questions, it is acceptable for the other person to kick, or punch you in the crotch. "Because" is not the same as "'cuz". Because is the beginning of an answer and 'cuz IS the answer. It is acceptable to use "'cuz" to explain to your wife why you're getting home 4 hours later than you said you would. However, it will not protect you from getting cut off. That, my friend, is more powerful than anything "They" can do.

The Senor Punko Political Vision

Politicians are power-hungry douchebags with small penises that grew up with a huge sense of entitlement. They probably were rich beyond the common man's dreams, and usually don't represent 90% of the population. The lay debate about who is better, but in reality, none of them REALLY know what it's like to put groceries on the credit card because you HAVE to.

Beliefs are what make you who you are. Even the most intelligent people don't really know shit, and therefore shouldn't cut people down that disagree with them. Shut the fuck up, and buy them a beer.

I'm Back

Yea, so I tried to start this over at my website, but it didn't work. As I was typing, the damn screen had to refresh every 15 seconds and that fucking godaddy header just kept multiplying. Really pissed me off. Every time it refreshed I could only see the top half of the letters that I was typing. Could you imagine? I wanted to throw my fucking computer through my bay window. WHICH by the way, DOESN'T overlook a bay. What the fuck's with that? Bay window. Fuck it. I'm going to call it the biggest potential for a cold ass draft during the winter. The E on my laptop is now just kind of "floating" on the keyboard. Fucking thing. Anyone got an extra powerbook laptop that's taken a shit? If you do, it's the ancient G3 Lombard from like 2000. Yea, Punko loves his Jurassic-aged computer posing as a clam. The good thing for you is that I'll actually have things up every day now.